Yes drill sergeant

My twisted-side ego is like a drill sergeant but one that wants me to fail. It screams in my face when I screw up, fall down, question things.

Real drill sergeants, however, ultimately want you to succeed…or quit.

But wait, maybe that negative side of me is harassing me in order to help me succeed in the end. Could it be that there is a nobler purpose in that berating, negative psyche?

ArmyAmber / Pixabay

Bear with me now…

How could something from me want me to fail? Maybe this thing is EXACTLY like a drill sergeant. Maybe I should just answer “yes drill sergeant!”

You freakin idiot! Go faster! “Sir, yessir!”

Look what you did, Lewis! Stop it or you’ll ruin everything! “Sir, yessir!”

 

I think I heard Titus once say that anxiety is good because that’s how the rent gets paid.

 

 

Building Willpower – from Belle Beth Cooper at Buffer

This is a really rich and practical refresher on building willpower. I love how Belle Beth Cooper makes the keys/bullets/nuggets so easy to find. She takes pages of text and hours of information and turns it into a refreshing slap in the face to get you moving.

 

The science of self-control: 6 ways to improve your willpower

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Those Who Flee: North Korean Refugees

Those Who Flee: North Korean Refugees.

Just came across this and am posting to remind myself that I have an obligation to be happy and push myself to succeed, because there are people that need help all the time.

Mental sick day–crack for your confidence

When I was in a key developmental stage (teens) I was granted many “mental health days.” Sounds helpful, right? Sounds like my folks were cool, compassionate, and understanding. That was the intent but the concept was…misleading. And, as it turns out, debilitating.

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(Courtesy MSNBC)

Hindsight is 20/20 (or close to it maybe, but that’s another post) so I can’t be certain, but here’s what I acquired from those days. I gained:

–Sleep
–Temporary relief; taken off the hook
–Escapism and distractions
–Wallowing in my problems

Here’s what I lost:

–Learning opportunities
–Self-respect
–Healthy anxiety and pressure
–Chances to develop a growth mindset by learning how to overcome a real problem.
–Focus on the issues instead of me as the issue.
–Being forced to discover passions, what really matters to me, and striving to reach goals.

I don’t know if I’m bitter or just plain angry, but I really feel a loss. I feel duped. Not that I’m blaming them, but rather I am seeing the choices I made myself. I feel so much regret that I missed the forest for the trees over and over and over. Instead of reinforcing success and stretching, I was reinforcing negativity and quitting.

Sometimes one of the greatest things you can do for your children (or friends, employees, students) is to keep their feet to the flame. Instead of removing the pressure, encourage them and help just enough so that they can know that they did it.

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Mental health days are to mental resiliency what the Lazy River is to sailing.

(From)

How to fail in marriage

So you want a recipe for disaster? You want to sabotage your relationship with your number one? Sure, everyone believes they are going to succeed and be happy at the outset. Nobody really marries expecting to fail. But some of us get to a point where our pride just becomes far too important and suddenly seems to be a better lover. Here is a list of critical steps to unravel what is supposed to be the most important relationship in your life:

DON’T push yourself to make your spouse proud of you.
DO expect them to accept whatever issues from you no matter how bad it is.

DON’T seek out new things to put smiles on his or her face.
DO continually plan to do the same old same old. Your spouse should be no better than your old college roommates who never liked change, wanted to be left alone, and to be as messy and play as many video games as he wanted.

DON’T apologize sincerely or let your spouse vent.
DO plan exactly how to retaliate, get defensive about things beside the main point, and use sarcasm whenever possible.

DON’T let your spouse challenge your family. When they go up against your mom, they will lose every time.
DO compare your dysfunctional family systems to each other all the time, and let your family justify and coddle you and your problems while villainizing your spouse.

DON’T put your spouse’s well being ahead of your children.
DO use your children as weapons, collateral, allies, and bargaining pieces.

DON’T take them out on dates, adventures, and open-ended excursions where you don’t care about getting home at a certain time.
DO come home and take off the shoes and belt and let the family know you need “me time.”

DON’T worry about proving love anymore or doing what’s right because it’s right.
DO get defensive and tell him or her their love is “conditional” if they are going to hold you to the truth or to your own words.

DON’T repent.
DO apologize and move on. Shrug if necessary.

(*Even though I’m being facetiously ironic here, I have personal experience with these. I’m sure the list will be added to. May it be a warning sign. We don’t have to relive the mistakes of others.)

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