Women opt for divorce 2 out of 3 times

I heard an interesting statement recently, from a psychologist I know. Not only do women choose divorce 66% of the time over men, but they view their husbands very differently, throughout and after. “Women, who are more relational, view their husbands as chapters in their lives, and can move on more easily. Men have a harder time in divorces–they see the whole book as about their wives, and therefore now have to go and get a whole new story.”

This would explain a lot of the other stats on men and the fallout of divorce. Peter Pan Syndrome is just the beginning.

God, help us.

Feminism: Blaming isn’t Helping

I saw this comment on Huffington Post and I’m glad it ties up the problem so succinctly. It’s in response to Elisabeth Hasselbeck’s question to Nick Adams about men in decline because of feminism.

“How, specifically, are men not allowed to “be manly”? Not allowed to get away with rape? Not allowed to beat up other men without being arrested? What are the benchmarks here….Are men not being allowed to play football? Hunt? Curse? Drink beer? Good grief. Tell us, Elisabeth – how are our men “less masculine”. Because I see men working hard every day. Being good husbands, fathers, and friends. They’re providing for their families. They’re always learning new technology. They’re traveling. They’re reading, creating, being imaginative. They’re enjoying life. So…tell us. How are they “not masculine’?”

We’re men, we’re men in tights

Here would be my response to Phyllis T (if I wanted to sign up for Huff Post, which I don’t):

[Read more…]

Inspired to step up, be a Dad!

I just watched Courageous. Very inspirational. Makes me want to be a better man.

I will! I will be the father to my children and the husband to my wife. I will remember that whatever I am suffering or agonizing or getting tired of at the moment is only in this moment, and I cannot tell the future or how it will all fit together in the end. I will strive for excellence and hope, without fear of embarrassment or having to apologize. I will fight for what is right because it is right and because God loves what is right; I want my children to love the same.

 

Watching my son take in everything new is amazing. Everything is original and authentic to him. What attitudes and feelings am I exposing him to? What about the things that I don’t realize I’m teaching him? Things I probably don’t want him to learn.

My thinking needs to shift from “be careful—don’t screw up” to “teach something right—love as much as I can.” If I focus on what I do wrong, I’m lost. I need to teach him the things now that will make him a good man, an observant learner, and a wise human being.

Feliz Dia de Los Padres!

There are two parts to my post about this Fathers’ Day. They are hardly related by anything other than fatherhood, but they are both catalytic for positive change.

Part 1

Although I do wish every dad a happy Padres’ Day today, in lieu of gifts I genuinely want to receive (and give) prayers for dads. I think most of us are aware of the consequences of fatherless households, and the burdens that too many mothers bear alone, but we don’t grasp the magnitude.

Fathers: please step up and claim the love we have for you. Like building a wall in a strange and dangerous land, keep building with one hand and holding a weapon in the other to protect your families. I’m not talking about physical weapons (per se, of course), but mental and emotional ones. Love your wife and kids with reckless abandon, and defend your hope for them and in them until the end.

Part 2

If you haven’t seen the movie Smoke Signals, I highly recommend it. This poem comes from that film. It is dour but purposely driven towards healing.

How Do We Forgive Our Fathers?
by Dick Lourie

How do we forgive our Fathers?
Maybe in a dream
Do we forgive our Fathers for leaving us too often or forever
when we were little?

Maybe for scaring us with unexpected rage
or making us nervous
because there never seemed to be any rage there at all.

Do we forgive our Fathers for marrying or not marrying our Mothers?
For Divorcing or not divorcing our Mothers?

And shall we forgive them for their excesses of warmth or coldness?
Shall we forgive them for pushing or leaning
for shutting doors
for speaking through walls
or never speaking
or never being silent?

Do we forgive our Fathers in our age or in theirs
or their deaths
saying it to them or not saying it?

If we forgive our Fathers what is left?

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