Kurt Cobain’s birthday this past Thursday–he would have been 47

I wonder how the rest of the band members feel on this day (February 20th). I wonder how his family feels. I wonder what it was like to have the stomach pains that he endured, created or given.

Do they drag out the old sad stories? Do they work extra hard to keep them put away?

I wonder how Neal Young feels about Cobain quoting his song at the very end of his life:

“My, my, hey, hey,
Rock and roll is here to stay
It’s better to burn out than to fade away
My my, hey hey”

I wish he had stayed with us.

And he didn’t fade away.


Connecting Dots

He doesn't know a way out, but knows a way IN, Precious...

Figuring OUT


Sometimes I connect dots, of which I do not know whether they are supposed to connect.

I have to try. If I don’t, how can I make any sense of “supposed to”?

*Warning* If you require only happy posts, this one is not for you. It does have light at the end of it though.

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Thoughts on Sunday

Bartender please
Fill my glass for me
With the wine you gave Jesus that set him free
After three days in the ground

Bartender you see
The wine that’s drinking me
Came from the vine that strung Judas from the devil’s tree
It’s roots deep, deep in the ground

I’m on bended knee
Father, please

Dave, Bartender, with an atypical introduction

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Profound Cries of Joy and Sorrow

Every rose has thorns


I was reading Ezra today and these words leaped off the page at me:

(Ch. 3) 11 And they sang responsively, praising and giving thanks to the Lord,

“For he is good,
for his steadfast love endures forever toward Israel.”

And all the people shouted with a great shout when they praised the Lord, because the foundation of the house of the Lord was laid. 12 But many of the priests and Levites and heads of fathers’ houses, old men who had seen the first house, wept with a loud voice when they saw the foundation of this house being laid, though many shouted aloud for joy, 13 so that the people could not distinguish the sound of the joyful shout from the sound of the people’s weeping, for the people shouted with a great shout, and the sound was heard far away.

I could write pages and pages about these last two verses, but I will just write a few thoughts.

[Context note: these are the Jews coming back to their land after a few generations of captivity in exile. They return from Persia to rebuild the city, starting with the temple. The central role the temple played in their lives and their relationship with their God defined them as a people somewhere in their core.]

Knowing this, it makes perfect sense that the young who had heard all these stories about their people and their past would rejoice at the thrill of rebuilding. Juxtapositionally, the older generations are weeping because they have a relationship with the temple from the past and have personally suffered the loss in some way–they know what the former glory of the temple was and mourn the loss of that.

All of this mixed together is life. All of this mixed together is what it is like to be in relationship with someone…with God…to be a person of faith…to strive for what is good and not necessarily what is easy or safe.

I suppose that journeying with God…with the Good…with anything meaningful…will entail this mix of joy and sorrow. I suspect it doesn’t have to be this way. It just happens to be.

“I was the lion who forced you to join with Aravis. I was the cat who comforted you among the houses of the dead. I was the lion who drove the jackals from you while you slept. I was the lion who gave the horses the new strength of fear for the last mill so that you should reach King Lune in time. And I was the lion you do not remember who pushed the boat in which you lay, a child near death, so that it came to shore where a man sat, wakeful at midnight, to receive you.”
― C.S. LewisThe Chronicles of Narnia – the Horse and His boy

Passwords ate my homework!!!

Passwords are out of control. I have to find something to ease this menacing time-suck in my life. I have to guess, reset, and get locked out of countless accounts because of passwords and corresponding user IDs. It’s to the point where I desperately miss paper, which is even easier to physically lose.

Look at this prompt I was recently given for how to create a password. (Name of entity and account omitted, obviously.) I swear I am NOT making this up.

Must have a minimum of 8 characters and a maximum of 40 characters. Must contain a mixture of letters, numbers and at least one special character, i.e. -, *, >, etc. Passwords must contain one upper case letter. Must not contain any spaces. Must not be a previously used password. Must not contain any spaces. Must not include common words describing [anything related to the industry], colors, fruits, countries or sports teams. Examples of passwords that will not be accepted: Coffee11, yellow23, 12lake34. Passwords should only be reused after one year of non-use. Passwords should not contain any part of the user name.

I’m going through the seven stages of grief just reading these instructions! And I’m losing hope I’ll ever think of something that I will be able to remember, and where to write it down yet be able to find it again.



Those Who Flee: North Korean Refugees

Those Who Flee: North Korean Refugees.

Just came across this and am posting to remind myself that I have an obligation to be happy and push myself to succeed, because there are people that need help all the time.

Karaoke stressors

Quick poll:

What song would be just a nightmare to sing at karaoke?

I nominate Billy Joel’s “Innocent Man”.