No such thing as a Real Job

Always under construction

Confession: I turned my work into a job and the world that mattered the most to me into work.

Lemme ‘splain.

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Mental Illness and the Christian Church

The Church can be a very sorry companion for the mentally ill, but also can be the greatest source of hope

Someone sent this article to me, and I found it short, but so beneficial, that I had to share it here.

Looking at the world through a glass, darkly

PublicDomainPictures / Pixabay

 

Brandon W. Peach writes about many topics, but his understanding and experience with mental illness and the Church’s broadly (but not always) ill-conceived overall response to it–as well-intended as it may be–is more encouraging than anything else.

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Yes drill sergeant

My twisted-side ego is like a drill sergeant but one that wants me to fail. It screams in my face when I screw up, fall down, question things.

Real drill sergeants, however, ultimately want you to succeed…or quit.

But wait, maybe that negative side of me is harassing me in order to help me succeed in the end. Could it be that there is a nobler purpose in that berating, negative psyche?

ArmyAmber / Pixabay

Bear with me now…

How could something from me want me to fail? Maybe this thing is EXACTLY like a drill sergeant. Maybe I should just answer “yes drill sergeant!”

You freakin idiot! Go faster! “Sir, yessir!”

Look what you did, Lewis! Stop it or you’ll ruin everything! “Sir, yessir!”

 

I think I heard Titus once say that anxiety is good because that’s how the rent gets paid.

 

 

Feminism: Blaming isn’t Helping

I saw this comment on Huffington Post and I’m glad it ties up the problem so succinctly. It’s in response to Elisabeth Hasselbeck’s question to Nick Adams about men in decline because of feminism.

“How, specifically, are men not allowed to “be manly”? Not allowed to get away with rape? Not allowed to beat up other men without being arrested? What are the benchmarks here….Are men not being allowed to play football? Hunt? Curse? Drink beer? Good grief. Tell us, Elisabeth – how are our men “less masculine”. Because I see men working hard every day. Being good husbands, fathers, and friends. They’re providing for their families. They’re always learning new technology. They’re traveling. They’re reading, creating, being imaginative. They’re enjoying life. So…tell us. How are they “not masculine’?”

We’re men, we’re men in tights

Here would be my response to Phyllis T (if I wanted to sign up for Huff Post, which I don’t):

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False dichotomy of science and humanities

Cognitions and Conceptions

Incorrigibly interrelated

I like to talk about and further my understanding of the dialogue between humanities and science. I came across this on Andrew Sullivan’s Dish and it gave me pause.

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Addictions – Literally keeping us from joy

WARNING: This post is sexually-themed and contains mature content.

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Practical tips in managing Depression from Therese Borchard

Therese Borchard: 12 Steps Toward Freedom from Depression

Theresa Borchard’s “12 Steps Toward Freedom from Depression” is a great list of tips. These are things that are good for anybody, but crucial for those managing depression.

There are a lot of great tips but this one is particularly well-put to me. I like her style.

This one is the toughest steps: directing my thoughts is somewhat like a traffic policeman standing out in the middle of a highway during a storm. Some of the drivers (thoughts) get a bit agitated when the dude in the neon vest tells them they can’t go a certain way…that if they do, they will regret it. Oh yes, they will. Because getting their brains out of the gutter (where toxic emotions live) proves more difficult than you think. I have a bunch of creative ways–much like the policeman’s hand signals–in which I like to untwist my distorted thoughts…such as differentiating between fiction (fantasy) and nonfiction (reality) in my busy noggin.

I really appreciate how her tips are not only implementable and practical in the now, but they aren’t magical thinking or fluff. She is honest about how things like this don’t make it all go away. But they do help, they do work, and she has the personal experience to back them up.

Hope is more than wishful thinking...

Hope on…

Distortion 7: Emotional Reasoning

[Continuing my series on some of David Burns cognitive distortions. It helps me to really see them for what they are and how I apply them to my thinking. Hopefully you may have a “me too!” moment. See more here.]

 

I think one’s path is incorrigibly set by whether they can use this skill or not: to be able to sort out what’s actually happening from what feels (or looks) like is happening.

 

[d] Delusions 0f Grandeur -  Murder Self Pity (2012)

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Distortion 5: Jumping to Conclusions

[Continuing my series on some of David Burns cognitive distortions. It helps me to really see them for what they are and how I apply them to my thinking.]

 

 

...therefore, splat!

cello5 / Pixabay

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jumping to conclusions–it’s the Andrew Lloyd Weber of distortions in my opinion. Loud, dominating, powerful, and massively appealing. Two particularly sinister varieties: mind reading and fortune telling.

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Distortion 2: Overgeneralization

I’m beginning a series on some of David Burns cognitive distortions. It helps me to really see them for what they are and how I apply them to my thinking. Hopefully it will help someone else realize they are doing it too to their detriment.

◊ Overgeneralizing takes isolated cases or truths and makes wide, sweeping assertions about many more cases–or even all cases. Generalizing is another type of heuristic that helps us to grasp and categorize things. Inducing what will happen next based on what you’ve experienced is obviously an important skill. It’s generally safe to believe, for example, that since you nearly burned your eyebrows off the last time you left the gas on too long before you lit the grill, it will probably happen again if you wait just as long…and the same goes for any gas grill you dare to light.

◊ Obviously, this is a valuable cognitive skill. Even animals do it. But it takes a turn for the nasty when it is used to protect us from what we don’t know or understand. I’m talking about discrimination and prejudice that is irrational, bitterness, and pessimism. Combined with the fact that our brains are wired to hold onto negative events and losses more tightly than positive ones, this all becomes very natural. Murphy probably only had to drop his buttered toast a couple of times before he discovered “a law.”

◊ I have laughed until I nearly cried at things like despair.com. Their success is based on overgeneralization of stuff we’d rather not experience or witness. But I laugh like a sad clown–nobody in their right mind finds these really putting smiles of joy on their faces. The smiles demotivators invoke are smiles along the lines of “as long as it doesn’t happen to me..this time.”

I’ve learned that even though this distortion is easy to adopt in order to feel smarter and that I somehow won’t be duped by anyone, it makes me really annoying to people who catch onto me. It makes me a Debbie Downer, who focuses on what will probably go wrong. But worst of all, opportunities go flying by me because I see them coming for a fleeting moment and go, “Meh, wouldn’t work anyway.” Better to keep the cognitive skill as a way to be prepared and remember that each new opportunity is in fact new.