Lifeing

I submit today exhibit A:
“Lifeing”
It’s different than living. Living entails biological processes and social compatibility. Behaviors that permit survival. And some days, living is all I can do and that’s ok. 
Lifeing is a willful, stubborn choice. It can come out of living but it’s some reaction to oppression and tyranny and self-perceived or outside-enforced institutionalizations. Sometimes it’s as parsimonious as a middle finger. 
What a fool I’ve been. All the beautiful people I shook my finger at. Wanting more and meaning well, and throwing stones. I still love you, beautiful people. I need you, too. 

Humanarium Revisited

Humanarium (Revisited)

(ˈhjuːmən err-e-um)

n. an abstract but primal place. A place where you can be as human as humanly possible and feel no shame, because even shame is on par with pride, justice, and glory.

  1. : a place where you can lean against your enemy almost as equally as your friend and you have nothing to prove.
  2. : a place where one can talk about holiness and earthiness in the same sentence.
    • a : it is difficult to tell if such places are created only by great effort, or rather by merely forgetting that one ever left them.
    • : a place that a good church tries to replicate, but rarely achieves.
  3. : a place where the only way to offend everyone is by being pretentious. But even then, everyone just shakes their head with pursed lips and then pats said pretentious one on the back and moves on, because they are too busy seeking reality.
  4. : a place where one’s age is meaningless. Where one is a child and a burdened adult and in the twilight at the same time.
  5. : a state in which one understands Bob Dylan songs, and/or feels like they are living in a permanent Bob Dylan song.
  6. : a place where children thrive and move and have their being, and elderly smile like no one is watching.
  7. : a space in which one can be honest, not afraid of the consequences.
  8. : a place where one can lift up their head high and not feel above anyone else.
  9. : a space where one can meet God, herself, himself, or their great love–with equal intensity.
  10. : an atmosphere where it’s almost impossible to tell if one is laughing or crying. Or doing both simultaneously. But you have to let them do it. They need it.
  11. : places where a friend, even for only a few minutes, is a friend for a lifetime.
  12. : a place saturated with that feeling, when one has been drinking, that comes after trying to be the life of the party and trying to run away from the party; when you’re right in the zone of total vulnerability and surrender but have not lost any of your faculties.
  13. a place where your political affiliations mean about as much as your hair color.

Seek these places once in a while. Create them when needed.

 

Down Here – The bottom of the Bell Curve

Down Here

by David Wilcox

ignatsevichserg / Pixabay

This is one of my top 10 now, I think.

It climbs a little higher up the ranks as I age. But I think I just now declared it in the 10 somewhere. (I reserve the right to change my mind.)

[Read more…]

Moderately Reliable Nerd

A while ago a coworker popped into my office and asked, “Quick! What was the name of the dragon in Neverending Story?”

I thought of it before he quite finished. “Falcor,” I said, solidly.

“WHY did you answer that so fast? Why do you know that?!”

I’ve seen that movie a couple of times.

“A couple times in the last few months?”

A couple of times this morning.

Totes proud

 

Is joke.

 

Why do I love that story so much? I think my mother is probably one of the major sources to credit. I think Neverending Story is, in spite of it’s weirdness, great literature. I find myself referring to that movie with lessons about life over and over again.

 

The Only Coffee Tumbler You Should Ever Buy

The Only Tumbler You Should Ever Buy

Alexas_Fotos / Pixabay

Tumblers are trendy, hip, varied. They are also easy to customize, so every company has their own. It’s easy to slap logos, pictures, and slogans on them. The logo is irrelevant; the make is everything. Even the brand doesn’t matter if you know what design to look for.

This may seem trivial and America is probably not talking about this much, but it should be. People buy way too much crappy drinkware and it’s time to speak up. Sí, se puede.

[Read more…]

Shine your Light (per Joni Mitchell)

xshine
[OCTOBER 23, 2016]

I saw a video of Prince accepting an award. Terse as he was whenever I saw him, not seeming to enjoy talking publicly outside of music too much, and not dropping many names, one of the few performers that he propped up and praised in that speech was Joni Mitchell.
I wondered why he mentioned her as a prime influence. Of all the people who had influenced him; I just had never known. Indeed, she is amazing. I’m glad he did it.
I think during this season, in this climate, in this hour, a song like this one is very timely; politics aside. I think it may show part of why Prince loved her so much.
(for the audiophiles, here you go)

Shine

Oh let your little light shine
Let your little light shine
·
Shine on Wall Street and Vegas
Place your bets
Shine on the fishermen
With nothing in their nets
Shine on rising oceans and evaporating seas
Shine on our Frankenstein technologies
Shine on science
With its tunnel vision, tunnel vision
Shine on fertile farmlands
Buried under subdivisions
·
Oh let your little light shine
Let your little light shine
·
Shine on the dazzling darkness
That restores us in deep sleep
Shine on what we throw away
And what we keep
Shine on Reverend Pearson
Who threw away
The vain old God
Kept Dickens and Rembrandt and Beethoven
And fresh plowed sod
Shine on good earth, good air, good water
And a safe place
For kids to play
Shine on bombs exploding
Half a mile away
·
Oh let your little light shine
Let your little light shine
·
Shine on world-wide traffic jams
Honking day and night
Shine on another asshole
Passing on the right
Shine on the red light runners
Busy talking on their cell phones
Shine on the Catholic Church
And the prisons that it owns
Shine on all the Churches
They all love less and less
Shine on a hopeful girl
In a dreamy dress
·
Oh let your little light shine
Let your little light shine
Shine on good humor
Shine on good will
Shine on lousy leadership
Licensed to kill
Shine on dying soldiers
In patriotic pain
Shine on mass destruction
In some god’s name
Shine on the pioneers
Those seekers of mental health
Craving simplicity
They traveled inward
Past themselves…
·
May all their little lights shine

[Read more…]

Trumpontology: why he’s “smart” for not paying taxes

Why does Trump think he’s smart for not paying taxes?

Because he Kant even.

AJEL / Pixabay

Why They Call It a Crazy Train

There are reasons people call it a Crazy Train

Huffing, puffing, fuming

44833 / Pixabay

Like a train, crazy is big. It’s heavy. It can’t be steered–only directed by planned pathways. It’s loud and dangerous. It’s thundering and crushing. It carries virtually incalculable weight.

However, it can be jumped from provided one accounts for the risks and pain of jumping. And–with great amounts of effort, energy, and time–it can be stopped.

Crazy momentum

WikiImages / Pixabay

Thankful for ADHD

At first, they look random...

676567 / Pixabay

Beautiful Distractions

ADHD is conventionally a “disorder” in that it is an imbalance of the mind and comes with it’s own set of challenges and impairments. It should be approached, like any other animal, with respect for the harm it can inflict. But I think it’s naive to call it a weakness. The very challenges it brings spark creativity and motivation to take action in a special way.

It’s likely that if there were no ADHD, there would be little to no:

  • Midnight doughnut/taco/ice cream runs
  • Creative and wildly imaginative stories and screenplays
  • Unorthodox yet excellent solutions to engineering problems
  • Stand-ups against corruption in the established order
  • Awkward yet awesome toys
  • No persistent adventurers
  • No Gandalfs; or Tolkiens; or fantasy writers; or fiction
  • Resourcefulness
  • Jokes to relieve everyone in overwhelmingly sad circumstances
  • Art for art’s sake
  • Willingness to break away when everyone else is stuck and…
  • Willingness to stay on task when everyone else wants to quit

Just saying.

I’m really thankful for those in my life who wrangle the ADHD bulls within themselves.

 

condesign / Pixabay

FaceTime calls with children

I wonder why some of us hang our heads when we grieve

geralt / Pixabay

Today, I talked to my son on the phone (FaceTime) the who is currently 9 hours ahead of me. It was incredibly hard.

 

He asked where I was. When I told him I could see the wheels turning behind his eyes. He looked away. I asked him where he was, how the flight was, what he watched–all questions which he deferred to his mom for the answers. I could see that he was getting a little frustrated. At the mention of bed, he began to get upset. Tears even.

Not atypical young child behavior, right? Right…

Connection lost…retrying…

At this point I’m feeling guilt well up within me. Guilt is a monster that is always rattling its chains but at times like these it takes over. It pulls at my clothing and squeezes my internal organs.

After reconnecting, it is clear that he is trying to talk to me, to do the “right” thing, but just wants to end it. As he cries–through the buffering, freezing segments of video–I look at his face and I just want to touch him and tell him it’s ok. He’s not on a hot seat of any kind and he doesn’t need to be polite for me. It’s hard not to think he is rightfully upset about circumstances. I am sorry for this. I tell him again that I love him and I’ll see him later. Have a good time. Eventually I hang up on the spinning “Reconnecting…” graphic.

Now the monster screams and berates me. It pulls at my hair and punches me in the teeth. I sob uncontrollably.

Eventually

Zauberin / Pixabay

 

One day I hope he will understand, and forgive me. Some day soon I hope that I can reassure him. I hope that he will feel my hope for something better on the horizon. I hope he believes I love him so much. It won’t always be like this.