Thankful for ADHD

At first, they look random...

676567 / Pixabay

Beautiful Distractions

ADHD is a conventionally a “disorder” in that it is an imbalance of the mind and comes with it’s own set of challenges and impairments. It should be approached, like any other animal, with respect for the harm it can inflict. But I think it’s naive to call it a weakness. The very challenges it brings spark creativity and motivation to take action in a special way.

It’s likely that if there were no ADHD, there would be little to no:

  • Midnight doughnut/taco/ice cream runs
  • Creative and wildly imaginative stories and screenplays
  • Unorthodox yet excellent solutions to engineering problems
  • Stand-ups against corruption in the established order
  • Awkward yet awesome toys
  • No persistent adventurers
  • No Gandalfs; or Tolkiens; or fantasy writers; or fiction
  • Resourcefulness
  • Jokes to relieve everyone in overwhelmingly sad circumstances
  • Art for art’s sake
  • Willingness to break away when everyone else is stuck and…
  • Willingness to stay on task when everyone else wants to quit

Just saying.

I’m really thankful for those in my life who wrangle the ADHD bulls within themselves.


condesign / Pixabay

FaceTime calls with children

I wonder why some of us hang our heads when we grieve

geralt / Pixabay

Today, I talked to my son on the phone (FaceTime) the who is currently 9 hours ahead of me. It was incredibly hard.


He asked where I was. When I told him I could see the wheels turning behind his eyes. He looked away. I asked him where he was, how the flight was, what he watched–all questions which he deferred to his mom for the answers. I could see that he was getting a little frustrated. At the mention of bed, he began to get upset. Tears even.

Not atypical young child behavior, right? Right…

Connection lost…retrying…

At this point I’m feeling guilt well up within me. Guilt is a monster that is always rattling its chains but at times like these it takes over. It pulls at my clothing and squeezes my internal organs.

After reconnecting, it is clear that he is trying to talk to me, to do the “right” thing, but just wants to end it. As he cries–through the buffering, freezing segments of video–I look at his face and I just want to touch him and tell him it’s ok. He’s not on a hot seat of any kind and he doesn’t need to be polite for me. It’s hard not to think he is rightfully upset about circumstances. I am sorry for this. I tell him again that I love him and I’ll see him later. Have a good time. Eventually I hang up on the spinning “Reconnecting…” graphic.

Now the monster screams and berates me. It pulls at my hair and punches me in the teeth. I sob uncontrollably.


Zauberin / Pixabay


One day I hope he will understand, and forgive me. Some day soon I hope that I can reassure him. I hope that he will feel my hope for something better on the horizon. I hope he believes I love him so much. It won’t always be like this.


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